Be kind to yourself
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, 'my Lord! bestow on them your Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood.'" (Al-Israa 17: 23)Allah is talking about you, yes you. A parent, a mother. Not a working mother. Not a single mother. Not a stay at home mother. Just simply, a mother. A mother about whom only good should be said. A mother whose Lord asks others to make du'aa for her. A mother who deserves honour and respect.
“And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship…” (al-Ahqaaf 46:15)This aayah is about you too. A parent, a mother. A mother whose right it is to be obeyed by her children. A mother whose Lord recognises her sacrifice and her hardship. A mother who deserves honour and respect. But I lose patience with my children, you may say. But I don't give my children enough attention, you may say. But I don't fulfil all of my children's needs, you may say. And I certainly don't deserve this great honour, you may say. But the One who gave you this honour knows you very well. He knows your weaknesses, your every little flaw. He observes your bad days, your down days, your guilt-filled days. He sees you when snap, when you shout, when you fall. And He also knows that you are trying, really trying, to be the best mother you can be, and the best everything else that life needs you to be...whether that be a wife, a working mother, a single mother, a stay at home mother, a sister, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a carer... And He also knows that you are trying, really trying, to juggle a thousand responsibilities whilst fulfilling your ultimate duty towards Him. And He also knows that your heart is filled with regret when you fall. So accept this great honour, as a gift from your Lord. So accept this high status, as a gift from your Lord. So accept this respect, as a gift from your Lord. For there are no greater words than the words of Allah. And there is no greater truth than the truth of His words. So when your feelings of guilt try to pull you down, be kind to yourself. Because Allah knows that you deserve your high status, on your good days and your bad, because you are simply a mother.
© RS Khan 2017